Navigating Navidad: A Christmas Story

“Santa Clo? Quien es Santa Clo?,” my mother’s confusion was obvious, and I didn’t have any answers. This was our first Christmas in the USA and I’d just gotten home from grade school where I’d learned about Santa Claus. The jolly old man who brought Christmas gifts to the children in the USA. “Y como? Por cual chiminea?,” she added. I was a little unclear about the logistics myself, since she had a point. We lived in a one-bedroom apartment in Queens, NY with no fireplace, therefore no chimney. “Maybe through the fire escape!” I reasoned.  “No,” she declared, “El niño Jesus brings the gifts.” Overtime, we negotiated gifts from both Jesus and Santa Claus. Until I caught my mother eating the cookies I left out for both. But that’s another Christmas story.

Mami’s first compromise regarding Christmas marked the start of a balancing act in the face of my evolving faith. Our family's beliefs varied from lapsed to faithful and anything in between. But we learned to navigate Navidad together.

My papa was a non-practicing Catholic, creating tension with Mom's faith. Still, traditions matter in our family and culture, especially at Christmas.

I remember vividly the first Christmas after I told my mom about my struggles with our faith. That year, our usually joyous Nochebuena felt strained. We still gathered, of course. But midnight Mass, once the highlight of our Christmas Eve, became an event I politely declined. Prayers before meals? I stood stoic and silent. Yes, I was the fun daughter.

What I can say about those years is that Mami gave me space to struggle with my faith without compromising her own. I would bring up all manner of arguments and “proof” against the tenets of Catholicism. My mother is not an apologist, she didn’t know what to say to defend her faith. She just lived it. She couldn’t explain Catholicism to me, she witnessed it instead. That is its own kind of apologetics.

My journey back to faith was a gradual process, filled with questions, doubts, and moments of painful struggle. Mami prayed and held onto the faith for both of us until I found my way back to Jesus, Christmas, and home. So, what did my mom do to navigate Navidad? Here, in her own words, are her top five tips:

1. Love Unconditionally: Your faith should be a beacon of hope and acceptance, not a wall of judgment. Remember that God's love is infinite and unconditional; let your love for your children mirror that.

2. Keep Communication Open: Create a safe space for honest discussions about faith. Listen more than you speak, and show genuine interest in your children's perspectives, even if they differ from yours.

3. Lead by Example: Let your faith shine through your actions. Show your children the joy, peace, and strength your beliefs bring you. Sometimes, a lived example speaks louder than any words.

4. Maintain Traditions, but Be Flexible: Continue your family's Christmas traditions, but be open to adapting them. Include elements that resonate with your children, even if they're not strictly religious. The goal is togetherness and shared experiences.

5. Pray, but Don't Preach: Keep your children in your prayers, but avoid constantly preaching to them. Trust in the power of prayer and in God's timing. Sometimes, the journey back to faith is a long and personal one.

Remember, the story of Christmas is one of unexpected journeys. The Three Wise Men traveled far from home before they finally found Jesus. And, like me, they returned home by another road.

This article first appeared in The Catholic Key Magazine Nov/Dec 2024.